“Spectral Iteration: A Prismatic Journey thru the Beautiful Art of Fractals and Abstracts”

Mass Market Paperback by San Jaya Prime

Purchase Spectral Iteration from Amazon

Beautiful and vivid fractal designs, hypnotic Mandelbrot spirals, as well as mysterious and inspirational abstracts. Every page is taking another step forward in the spectrum. The journey is yours to take. This 7" x 7" art book comes from the internationally acclaimed and award-winning fractalist San Jaya Prime. His designs appear on book covers, album art, video games, and as large murals featuring vivid colors that envelope lines formed from sacred geometry. This is where math and nature meet on the shores of the infinite. I walk in dreams and dream waking. Who am I?

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Purchase Spectral Recursion

Purchase “Spectral Recursion”, First Edition, $24.99, In Stock from Amazon dot Com

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Details on the Book

• Publisher: Blurb (September 7, 2016)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1367260833
• ISBN-13: 978-1367260832
• Pages: 20 full-color pages
• Dimensions: 7 in x 7 in x 0.2 in

12yr old girl's Zombie Haiku

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English Is a Stupid Language

Let's Face It. English Is a Stupid Language.

There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why hasn't the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play,
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways?
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down,
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers,
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all.)

That is why:
When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts,
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.

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Note: I have not been able to track down a verified source for this. If you know where it came from, please leave the info in the comments.

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Paulo Coelho Banned in Iran

Paulo Coelho is "The Messenger of Peace" to the United Nations, yet his books have now been banned in Iran. In response, he has made them all available for free download in Farsi (Persian). They are available here on his blog, and mirrored here on SoundByte Psychology. He is an outspoken advocate for WikiLeaks and a personal hero to hundreds of thousands, including myself. This censorship will not stand.

2010 - Political Insights of the Year

2010 has been a year of incredible political activity, surprise insights and far more. I'll only be scratching the surface here. Before covering "the bad", let's at least count the victories:

#1 - The Zadroga Bill, meant to provide health care for hundreds of 9/11 first responders, finally passed in the senate. If you've heard about the bill, it's likely that you didn't hear about it until recently... yet it's more than two-months old. The media was almost entirely quiet when it came to the bill. It wasn't until the comedian Jon Stewart dedicated an entire episode to the first responders that it blew up in the media... and it was passed just a week later. This is one of the true heroic stories of the year, and well worth celebrating. I highly suggest the main article and associated videos on here on Stewart's site.

#2 - The voiceless have been given a voice. We finally have a way to act and to stand up against a government that has continually proven itself tyrannical. The infowar, centering on WikiLeaks, has given people around the world a way to speak up just by clicking a button... or blogging... or all the way up to transmitting encrypted files. The entire world is on fire. Some are trying to silence the truth, others are fighting to keep it alive... but there is finally a way for anyone to actually get involved in something that works! Just for mentioning the name WikiLeaks, this entire blog has already been blocked in multiple countries... China included. Regulators in America are trying to pass legislation at this very moment to create this same censorship here in the States. The fight continues, but at least it's a fight for something worthwhile.

#3 - A glimpse of sanity has returned to the Netherlands. I was in Amsterdam just weeks before the Netherlands banned the sell of hallucinogenic mushrooms [link]. Soon after, they began cracking down on the Red Light District and on the Cannabis Coffee Bars. The final nail was when they enacted tobacco smoking bans... despite the fact that Europeans smoke marijuana and tobacco together. I've never before heard of a place so blatantly committing economic suicide... and I'd given up on the idea of ever returning. I don't know who talked sense into them, but they passed legislation allowing smaller pubs to allow people to smoke inside again [link]. I'm not getting my hopes up yet, as I don't know if it is enough to stop the chain-reaction. In England alone, more than 6,000 pubs have closed since the smoking ban was passed there in late 2007. But Amsterdam didn't just ban smoking, it shot itself in the head multiple times. That doesn't change the fact that it is good news, and that it may lead to larger reforms in the end.

#4 - "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was finally repealed. This ancient doctrine, founded on a compromise between racism and necessity, has finally been overturned to allow homosexuals to openly serve in the armed forces. It's sad that we're celebrating something that should have been taken into action more than a hundred years ago... but we celebrate what we can. And that's about it for the good news.

The bad news can be easily summarized:
* British Petroleum decided that the gulf needed a few more gallons of oil in its waters. The government wasn't having it, so they called in the coast guard... but, as it turns out, the coast guard was just there to keep reporters away from reporting on the spill and to arrest anyone that wouldn't hand over recordings of the catastrophe.
* An international corporation, with decades of toxic dumping, bribery, child labor and false advertising under its belt, was handed the reigns of the FDA by the president... then the FDA was given complete control over the nation's agriculture. Shortly thereafter, the FDA returned to its war on raw and organic markets with renewed vigor. Joy!
* The FCC finally passed Net Neutrality laws, calling the outcome "a compromise". Netizens were more quick to call it what it was: "a sellout". The laws allow wireless carriers to proceed with erecting toll-gates on their users, as well as tolls on companies that want their customers to have access to them.
* A leak to a news station in Pennsylvania revealed that the Department of Homeland Security has been spying on peaceful activists, as well as actively tagging and creating a database of environmentalists, rights activists and even tax activists.
* The US Department of Justice published a book titled "Investigating Terrorism and Criminal Extremism Terms and Concepts" that allows the classification of activists, economists and third-party supporters to be designated as "domestic threats". This is the same book detailing Al-Queda and other actual terrorist groups.
* Following a rather weak "terrorist" attack, the TSA pushed thru a program to install full-body scanners in airports. These have been rightfully dubbed "nudie scanners". They literally strip a person down to their skin. It's absurd enough to where it's become an Internet meme, relegating any invasion of privacy to the TSA.
* North Korea decided that they needed to throw a few bombs at South Korea. Everyone started making threats. It's as much "not good" as the world can muster, as the bombing served absolutely no one and may end in all-out world war if it doesn't settle down.
* The US passed legislation banning trade with Iran. That's understandable. Then the US declared that they would raise trade sanctions against any country who DID trade with Iran. Those are full trade sanctions. Every single time they have been raised throughout history, they have led to war. It's quite clear that there will be no more peace talks with Iran and that war will soon be on the country's doorstep.
* The Obama administration has denied more Freedom of Information requests than any other administration, silenced more leaks than any other administration and played an active part in silencing the press during the BP Oil Spill. As WikiLeaks gathered steam over the year, that came to a head with Cablegate. The administration is now taking steps to tear up the first amendment and has already proven, by their actions, that America lives under an illusion of freedom. While this is both a good and a bad thing, in the end, I easily side with WikiLeaks: "Blowing the whistle on war crimes is not a crime." Period.

If you want more than the summaries, then I can be much more verbose. I'm also including references, although those are more for myself should I need to come back to them.

The FCC's Net Neutrality Sellout: Before getting into this, let me get my politics out in the open. I'm not a right-wing corporatist, nor am I a left-wing statist. I am a laissez faire capitalist. When a company accepts subsidies from the government, they leave the free market and enter the realm of governmental regulation. That applies to almost all cellular communication companies and many of the cable and network companies on land. For me, it is a simple line, and I am for Net Neutrality regulations (to the fullest extent)... and believe they should be applied to all carriers who have accepted government subsidies.

Before the FCC's Net Neutrality "compromise" passed, this slide [below] leaked to the Internet. It shows how wireless carriers are considering charging each person for specific sites they access online. When the bill was passed, it allowed for exactly this sort of "toll road" mentality with wireless carriers. It also allows for these carriers to toll the companies online if those companies want their customers to have access to them. Obama's campaign promise of Net Neutrality has come to an end. When he appointed Julius Genachowski to the FCC, it was in order to fulfill the promise of Net Neutrality... yet we find just another compromise and a sellout. For more on this slide, check out this article. For more on the flaws in the new Net Neutrality laws, check out this article. For info on the idea behind "rebooting the FCC", check out this article.

Homeland Security's Spying Campaign Against Activists: Although many have talked about being "tagged, photographed and cataloged" by Homeland Security, a recent leak in Pennsylvania finally gave a glimpse into the scope and targets of this operation.

James F Powers, director of Penn's Homeland Security, accidentally included the wrong person on an email sent out to energy companies, federal employees and a private intelligence firm that he had hired using $125,000 Pennsylvanian tax dollars. The email leaked, revealing that the firm he'd contracted were paid to spy on: environmentalists, anti-tax protesters, gay rights activists, ralliers for increased education funding, anti-war demonstrators, deportation protesters, animal rights protesters and ralliers attending "End-the-Fed" gatherings.

Furthermore, these groups were targeted as potential threats to infrastructure and would be labeled as terrorists if need be. Names had already been gathered from peaceful candlelight vigils... even movie screenings. Because of the Bush administration's removal of habeas corpus, any of these deemed to be terrorists could be held, interrogated and tortured without any further cause and without communication with the outside world [link]. Because of the Obama administration's win in the supreme court, any of these who were held but proven innocent cannot even take legal recourse against their torturers [link].

It should be noted that this leak came via Pennsylvania, a state notoriously sloppy for hiding its view on citizens' rights and for its embracing of the Big Brother philosophy. If you haven't seen this commercial, it's definitely worth the quick watch:

The private company hired by Homeland Security is called the Institute of Terrorism Research and Response. Their site states: "the pre-eminent Israeli/American security firm providing training, intelligence and education to clients across the globe." This comes as a jolt, since 2010 has revealed huge amounts of information regarding Israel's manipulation of the U.S. [link] [link], as well as its ongoing spying campaigns on U.S. soil [link]. The fact that almost all stories on the Pennsylvania leak have not mentioned any Israeli connection at all is disturbing as well.

The ACLU is trying to get full disclosure on the scope of the spying and what names were on the list, but have not made any progress so far. The only thing that has been offered was an apology on behalf of Penn Governor Rendell and to cancel the contract with the private firm. No actions have been taken to remove Powers from office and no legal actions have been taken for rights violations.

We only know of this because of a single mistake and a leak that took advantage of that mistake. All the other attacks on human rights and against those defending these rights remain "off-the-record"... despite the evidence mounted against them.

The Classification of Activists as "Domestic Extremists": The U.S. Department of Justice published a book called "Investigating Terrorism and Criminal Extremism Terms and Concepts" that has come to public attention. Alongside Al-Queda and militant extremist groups, it also lists peaceful movements (including people collecting silver). Here are a few examples:

[Pg.8] American Liberty Currency (ALC ): An alternative currency promoted by NORFED. Ostensibly, each $10 in ALC currency is essentially a certificate of ownership of 1 ounce of silver held in a NORFED vault.

[Pg.22] Constitution Party: A minor, right-wing extremist political party, formerly known as the U.S. Taxpayers Party (USTP), which is one of the primary parties that specifically try to appeal to the "patriot" movement.

[Pg.23] Constitutionalists: A generic term for members of the "patriot" movement. It is now often used to refer to members of the sovereign citizen or common law court movement. Sometimes the word "constitutionist" is also used.

The Monsanto Coup: Because of movies like "Food, Inc.", the name Monsanto is entering the public knowledge... and it's not pretty. They have a legacy of toxic dumping that has lasted decades [link]. They've been caught bribing government officials in order to hide he environmental impact of their operations [link] and they've built a history on the foundation of false advertising [link]. They run factories using child labor, with the children exposed daily to open pesticides and other toxins [DOC file]. In America, farmers refer to Monsanto using the terms "mafia" and "gestapo" interchangeably... and with good reason [link]. They donate to political candidates from both sides of the spectrum, and in almost equal amounts of funding.

Then, in July of '09, Obama appointed Michael Taylor (a former Monsanto lobbyist) to Senior Adviser to the FDA. This, btw, is just the most recent political position to be filled by former Monsanto employees... but it is the most pertinent when it comes to policy that was passed this year. Senate Bill HR 2751 (FDA Food Safety Modernization Act) extends the power of the FDA to regulate and monitor food production throughout the nation, despite the track record they have of attacking organic and raw markets, of corrupt and criminal employees and their blatant siding with factory farming. Even before this bill, raw and organic markets have been coming under attack for years from state and federal law enforcement, as well as regulations from the FDA itself. This video is only a collection of some recent attacks along these lines:

The BP Oil Spill: What started out as an environmental disaster quickly became political. While the government insulted and attacked British Petroleum on television, they worked behind the scenes to cut off the press from reporting on the actual damages, hid important information from the public and are, even to this day, trying to get companies and contractors to sign off on sheets to get them to promise not to talk. The arrests served and threats made were only a small insight into how far the government would go, alongside B.P., to attack the freedom of the press and the rights of millions of gulf residents. As the year rolled on, the government's attacks on free speech and on transparency were made even more evident when battling WikiLeaks. Here is some of the coverage on the oil spill and the cover-up.

TSA: If it wasn't a health risk and completely invasive, this "joke of the year" would be great for laughs. But it has terrible side-effects. It also does not work. There are no scanners on flights coming into America, where the greatest risk is, nor do ground-crews have to go thru scanners (or anyone who can fake a ground-crew's set of IDs and uniforms). Also, a lot of luggage does not go thru scanning and is another vulnerability. In war zones, American forces have been using trained dogs much like the Russians do. They're never wrong, and can sniff out a bomb anywhere in an airport despite incredible attempts to trick them. But, instead, we get the joke of the year with the TSA's "nudie scanners" and an illusion of safety with more loopholes in it than the tax laws.

Korea: No comment.

Sanctions Against Iran: Anything I would write at this point would only be repeating what has already been said by Ron Paul. Here he is:

Cablegate: Cablegate was such an important event that I have written an entirely separate entry on it. It's right here on Mall of Me.

In summary, there is no longer a left-wing party... no longer a right-wing party. The differences at this point are so small that they borders on the comical. Now, there is only the Lie of the State... and the Truth that netizens from around the world are fighting for alongside WikiLeaks. I believe this wouldn't be complete without a reminder from Douglas Adams on just how funny this joke really is...

...from "So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish"

Preface: A spaceship has just landed, rather rudely, on the soil of England. The craft opens, and an extraterrestrial robot steps out to meet the surprised citizens of earth.

"I come in peace," it said, adding after a long moment of further grinding, "take me to your Lizard."

Ford Prefect, of course, had an explanation for this, as he sat with Arthur and watched the nonstop frenetic news reports on television, none of which had anything to say other than to record that the thing had done this amount of damage which was valued at that amount of billions of pounds and had killed this totally other number of people, and then say it again, because the robot was doing nothing more than standing there, swaying very slightly, and emitting short incomprehensible error messages.

"It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..."

"You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"

"No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like that straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."

"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."

"I did," said Ford. "It is."

"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?"

"It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want."

"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"

"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."

"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"

"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?"

"What?"

"I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?"

"I'll look. Tell me about the lizards."

Ford shrugged again.

"Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them," he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it."

#cablegate

Besides going over revelations, I wanted to share some of the top #cablegate tweets since this last Sunday. This first one got changed and retweeted so many times that the source couldn't be tracked down:

"The U.S. government just got put thru one of their own airport nudie-scanners."

@carlmaxim - Sarah Palin says 'Julian Assange should be hunted down like Osama bin Laden.' So he should be safe for at least a decade.

@darthvader - A feisty princess, 2 scrappy droids & slews of Bothans have nothing on Wikileaks.

@vamseekamana - The big leaker is watching the big brother. Thats why we should celebrate every whistle blowing event. Orwell says 'Hi'

@peter_lemenkov - "In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act." ~George Orwell

@Bryan6666 - Do you know how you can tell that @wikileaks is a good thing for the world? By looking at who wants Julian Assange dead.

@SynLeejm - The world is not interested in kill-the-messenger tactics. The world wants to know why revealed corruption goes ignored.

After trending all day Sunday on Twitter and causing an international uproar, was the leak of so many internal cables worth it? Definitely. We have first hand documents from Condoleezza Rice on her involvement with abducting citizens and covering up Guantanamo Bay abuses. We also have proof that prisoners who had been proved innocent were held in the prison because they "knew too much". These are the same prisoners that the Obama administration has cut off from any legal means for redemption. We also know that Hillary Clinton has only continued in these footsteps and that they've bargained with prisoners with the current administration the way that the last administration had. Details on just how much spying goes on using the U.S. embassies, while scandalous, also redeems those who have been called "quacks" for suggesting that this was going on. Even more revelations were covered in The Week.

Ever since releasing the leak, WikiLeaks has been under fire from political, digital and legal actions. The site has been hit with multiple DDOS attack, shutting it down for hours at a time. China, among other countries, censored WikiLeaks just hours after the cables were released. The company Amazon turned off the servers they were mirroring in the U.S. (note that Amazon was hit by a backlash of displeased customers). Interpol released an international arrest warrant for WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange, while the U.S. has announced they plan bring WikiLeaks to court under the Espionage Act. The truth has always been hunted in this manner... but the digital age has changed things. When the WikiLeaks site went down, people started hosting torrents with archives of the cables. While the U.S. was announcing stories that contradicted themselves (it was embarrassing, actually), WikiLeaks stood their ground: "People need to know this."

While talking about WikiLeaks, one person said: "I think that guy should be boiled in oil." That is precisely the sentimentality that WikiLeaks is fighting against... precisely the world they are fighting against. That dark age mentality of the old world is still here. WikiLeaks is the promise of a new world ruled by information, honesty and openness. And what happens next? Assange, in this interview with Forbes, gives us a glimpse of the next leak.

Links for Cablegate:
* WikiLeaks dot CH - Main Site
* The Guardian's Cablebrowser
* The #cablegate conversation on Twitter
* The Guardian's Review of the Cables
* TIME Interview: Assange on Secrecy, China and WikiLeaks' Growth
* The Guardian - Wikileaks under attack
* So, Why Is WikiLeaks a Good Thing Again?

2010-12-02 Update: Senators are calling for WikiLeaks to be classified as "Foreign Terrorist Organization" and the government is putting pressure on Twitter to close the WikiLeaks account. Senators, as well as journalists, are talking about marking any person or company who donates funds or allows WikiLeaks access as "aiding and abetting terrorists". The truth is now a terrorist. "Terrorist" now equals "anyone who doesn't support us".

2010-12-03 Update #1: The digital attacks on WikiLeaks have continued under political pressure. WikiLeaks.org is now a dead domain. They've switched to the Swiss DNS http://wikileaks.ch/. If that goes down, here is a list of raw IP addresses that will get you there: http://213.251.145.96/, http://46.59.1.2/, http://88.80.13.160/. Also, the site http://wikileaks.info/ is listing mirror IPs in the event they are needed. Lastly, my respect for the Justice of Pakistan has skyrocketed. Despite political pressure for him to ban WikiLeaks throughout their entire nation, he (Sheikh Azmat Saeed) stated: "We must bear the truth, no matter how harmful it is."

2010-12-03 Update #2: Today, I witnessed an ex-marine step out in defense of WikiLeaks. I watched as he was attacked verbally on every level for his actions... then watched as a second marine stepped forward and silently joined him. Something shifted. Silence. I will remember this day. Today I saw a journalist from Salon and a journalist from The Atlantic actually agree with each other in defense of WikiLeaks. They not only agreed, but linked to each other's articles... despite the opposition between their organizations. These are no small journalists. This is Glenn Greenwald with Salon and Jeffrey Goldberg with The Atlantic. I never thought I'd live to see this day. But the day isn't over. Today, I saw a person who avidly hated and attacked WikiLeaks make a U-turn and begin supporting them with everything they've got. Something is happening. Germany has already fired execs who spied for America, and this morning brings news of Tamil supporters calling for the imprisonment of an Indian general who supported the massacre of 40,000 civilians. I've never seen so many changes made in such a short amount of time... and haven't felt such a high level of hope in years. I highly suggest this article by Glenn Greenwald.

2012-12-04 Update #1: The Tech Herald has an incredible article covering all the attacks (digital and political) on WikiLeaks: WikiLeaks faces more heat in the wake of cablegate. It also brought up Lieberman's SHIELD Act, that would cut off all news sources from ever telling us about Guantanamo Bay or any other sensitive items the government labels "state secret". This follows in Obama's footsteps of denying torture victims, even innocent ones, any right to try those who tortured them... as any case now labeled "state secret" cannot be brought to court under Obama's Supreme Court Ruling.

2012-12-04 Update #2: Anonymous (aka, 4CHAN), has temporarily pulled out of their war against the RIAA and turned their legions on PayPal. This follows in the wake of PayPal freezing the WikiLeaks donation account. The PayPal Blog was hit with the first DDoS attack by 4CHAN and, as of these writings, has not returned for public access. With the largest group of digital freedom fighters now siding with WikiLeak, it is without a doubt that first real infowar has now been fully engaged.

anonymous is legion
we do not forgive
we do not forget

The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.
~Thomas Jefferson (to Edward Carrington, 1787)

You're a Winner!

Seriously, if you've ever voted for any of the three projects I've posted so far, then you're a winner. Two of the three projects WON! Sharif Issa and Jessa Peters both won, although the Youth Hostel just couldn't take first. If you don't remember, or missed it, or just want to re-live the celebration, here are the two winners!

Sharif won $2,400 worth of gear from Cloudveil after peeps like you and me voted, shared and otherwise spread the word that the crazy guy living in a tepee had the best skid crib.

Jessa Peters didn't just win the People's Choice Award that you and I voted on, but also won the Peer Choice Award for Best Model. That's right, even other models and photographers were voting her up. The only peeps that weren't down with the Jessa were the critics at Austin Fashion Week. That's not really a surprise, is it?

Do you have a project you need votes for? Is it quirky or a bit "off"... or does it have a good story? Either contact me or leave a link in the comments. I should note that I'm an ass and I may make suggestions before promoting anything, especially if I really like a project.. . because I want it to succeed and I have a little experience in this area. Without quirky, the world just wouldn't be a shiny place.

AddictedImage

AddictedImage


:[model - Mischa]: - :[links - deviantART | Flickr]:

Click any image to open viewer. Images in this entry are by AddictedImage and licensed thru a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License. These writings and images are copyright AddictedImage.

If you hate your job, quit.
If you are in a relationship with an asshole, leave.
If you hate where you live, move.
If you are unhappy, change.
It is as simple as that.
~AddictedImage, Journal Entry [excerpt]

:[model - Alley Kat Alex]: - :[links - deviantART | Flickr]:

:[model - Mischa]: - :[links - deviantART | Flickr]:

I'm not a flag waver.
I'm not a conservative.
I'm not a sheep.
I am disgusted at this country.
I am a patriot in the true sense of the word.

The elite have polluted this country.
The masses have fed on it.
The individuals must take it back.

~AddictedImage, "Fight"

:[model - Mischa]: - :[links - deviantART | Flickr]:

From "Who are we?" by AddictedImage:

Addictedimage is Conan Soranno and Mischa Romo.

Mr. Soranno is a mad Italian who chain smokes and spends his days plotting ways to corrupt the pure, dominate the world, and perfect his recipe for chicken alfredo. Every once in a while he gets off his ass and presses a button on his camera (if he's not to busy arguing with people online as to why everything they believe in is wrong.)

Miss Romo is an absolute sweetheart who drinks too much, fights too much, and is a general pain in the ass. If it wasn't for the fact that she was a kick ass artist (classical and digital) and a damn good fashion designer as well as a smoking hot model... she'd have been out on the curb a long time ago.

AddictedImage Online:
:[AddictedImage dot Com]: - :[Zivity]: - :[Flickr]: - :[LiveJournal]:
:[AddictedImage on deviantART]: - :[Mischa Romo on deviantART]:
:[AddictedImage on ModelMayhem]: - :[Mischa Romo on ModelMayhem]:

Eviction Notice

"Eviction Notice" by Megan Kennedy (FallenIdle)

Dear Mrs. Singleton,

I'm sure you don't remember me. I may have been one of many students who felt the sting of your proverbial whip, past and present; I may be the only one. I'll never know. You may even be dead by now, and for that, speaking ill of the dead will no doubt upset a balance I'll have to right at some point. I accept this, because I am done giving your teeth a place to rest in my dying body.

Being as old as you were, I'm sure you'd long forgotten what it was to be a child, and how badly things in society had changed since your day, when people were actually afraid to get divorced and kids didn't come home to an empty house. No doubt, this effected your ability to understand that some students in your classroom were far less fortunate than others, in ways they didn't cause or comprehend, and adjust your sensitivity accordingly. Or maybe you were just at the end of your crotchety old life and had stopped giving a shit.

But my secrets are done being kept. Whatever your reasoning, you have to leave me.

I can't remember the name of the book, now, that you were reading aloud to the class. But I was 100% sure that at some point, you uttered a word that I'd gotten my mouth washed out with soap for saying; something not meant for 5th grade ears. I was scared, but my mother had always taught me to tell the truth and if I was uncomfortable, to say something. That I had every right to stand up for myself, and she would always back me up if I believed in it.

I did the only thing a mind that little could think of: I went to your teacher, Principal Foote, and told him how upset I was. I remember walking into that big, dark office, shaking in my Power Rangers sneakers; it didn't help that Principal Foote was a lovechild between Merlin Olsen and a lumberjack. But he was a kind man; when I wrote a Fairy Tale about him years earlier for a class assignment, word reached him and he asked me if he could keep the story, he loved it so much. How would he react to this, though?

I told him what had happened. Sitting on the edge of the chair, squirming and fidgeting like I still do today, almost as if I'm afraid to stop moving lest I keel over and die, I told him what you had said and that I didn't think it was appropriate for a classroom. I remember saying that: "appropriate for a classroom". I didn't know if he felt like laughing or yelling. He knew I wasn't a troublemaker, because this was only the second time we'd met. I don't think he knew what to make of me.

Oh, but you did, didn't you? You made me out for what I was: A spoiled little shit trying to smear the good name and reputation of a dedicated teacher in the golden years of her career. A liar, a failure. An outcast. You screamed at me after Principal Foote called you into his office, shook your long skeletal finger at me and said "How dare you! How dare you accuse me of this!" And when my mom finally came (I still don't know who called her, or why), you yelled at her. You scolded her for raising such a disobedient daughter, for raising a liar. But my mom looked right at you and said, "She doesn't like attention. If she says she heard something, she heard something. Does she look like she's enjoying this to you?"

But you, Mrs. Singleton, you weren't about to be distracted with petty logic or rationality. No, you had a war to fight, a war against an eight-year-old girl bold enough to not be afraid of you. Did you even realize what a threshold all your students stood on, or had you forgotten in your long years as an adult? Because each and every one of us dangled over a vast canyon of darkness, and at any moment, our safety line could snap.

You had two roads before you that day: A defensive shield, an arrogant knee-jerk emotional response to show your horror at the accusation; or, you could slow down and consider that, perhaps, the entire exchange was a big misunderstanding. The class room is big, with so many distractions; maybe this little girl is just mistaken, and a few kind words and a promise that you'd never talk like that to students would fix everything. You chose the former, and you changed everything. So often I've cried, wondering what would have happened if you had chosen different.

It's not hard to break a child, Mrs. Singleton. It's not hard to make a child believe in an unreality of your creation, simply because it is what you want them to think, or because it keeps them quiet and complacent. But, as you must be aware, breaking a child's spirit and mind is easily the moral equivalent of beating or sexually molesting them; perhaps even worse, because the psychological signs disguise themselves much better than bruises or blood, and fester much deeper. I fear on the other side, you will find no hands to shake, congratulating you for your success, your resilience, your ability to handle dissent. For that I pity you, because then you must stand before whatever god and power is there, and explain exactly why you chose to break me. I hope that he shows you my life, shows you the consequences of my own choices based on the fear you put in me; not to blame you, for I chose my own path, but to fully illustrate to you the beauty of this universe and its flawless interconnectivity. For one thing I've learned is that many of us take for granted the ripple effect our actions take on others, and I've done my best to remember what power I have, the same power you abused so carelessly.

When you made me move away from the other children, because I was a 'distraction', you made me paranoid and sure I was meant to be alone. Your actions told me I wasn't good enough, and I believed you, because you were still an elder I was commanded to respect.

When you made me re-do papers with no direction as to what I did wrong, or graded me unfairly, you taught me that sometimes my sweat and smarts mean nothing, if a person in the right position of power chooses it to mean nothing. You should note that after this incident, I got the first non-As of my life, and after I had left you my grades returned to normal. Even a child can understand that.

When you denied me participation with my friends by keeping me in recesses to "search that book for what you thought you heard", or rejecting my applications to be in school plays, or stealing away the one dream I had to play in the Students vs. Faculty basketball game, a once-in-a-lifetime goal that you gave to students younger than me just to keep me out of it, you showed me that not only are authority figures wrong sometimes, but there is nothing preventing them from acting more childish than children. You showed that for me to trust another authority figure would be a stupid, stupid mistake; I trusted you, after all, at one point. And now, it's difficult for me to hold a job, because of how hard it is for me to be blindly obedient to even the slightest appearance of someone who thinks they have power over me. I have no problem obeying someone I trust, but once that's lost, I cannot in good conscience follow and relinquish my power to another, and society doesn't exactly understand that. So often I find myself in that same chair you had me in, being scolded for doing what I think is right, punished for standing up for something my apparently misguided brain mistook for being important. And how do I explain it to the husband depending on me when I have to report my failure? Does he understand when I tell him every instinct I had told me to fight? Are my instincts right, Mrs. Singleton? You hold the answer, because you took it from me that day, and I've never gotten it back.

When you made me cry in front of the class during a weekly meeting because I'd asked a classmate for time to play with my best friend alone, without her, you showed me true cruelty for the first time in my young life. You made me a social outcast, a joke, and the taunting that began after you threw me to the wolves would not end until I was forced into a mental hospital just to survive. You sold me out to pre-teens, Mrs. Singleton, kids trying to scramble their way to the top of the social ladder with everything they've got. And what do you do? You toss them a sacrificial lamb.

Your terror made me retreat inside myself, and I almost drowned in the darkness I found in there. I used to slice my arms open just to let some of it out, and relieve the pressure, and I will forever bear the scars and curious stares. I want you to feel that, too. I want to take you by your liver-spotted hand and lead you into eternally shadowed forest where that little girl ran away to, after you tore open her heart. I want to show you the beasts that stalk me, and the ones that I stalk; I want you to see the moon in here when it glows red and evil and turns the black oceans into a quiet mirror of blood and death. I want you to hear the monsters as they breathe, crawling closer and closer; I want you to hear your own hyperventilating as you wonder if they will reach you this time.

And when we emerge into a dark, cold city, I want you to feel the stares and laughs and taunts. I want you to hear all the terrible things they say about you, the wolves who smell your fear. I want you to feel them circling and snapping and drawing blood, a little at a time, as you cry and beg for mercy. Then you will scream as they drag you away. They rip you to shreds, and others rebuild you like a rag doll and pump you full of numbing drugs and send you stumbling like a zombie back out into the world. And you will never be as afraid as you are in that moment, even though the clouds gathering at your feet are still as dark as ever, and you know it isn't over. Now every god, prayer, devil, promise, lover, friend and dream has a dark secret buried in its belly. Now nothing is a true friend to you, because you understand how deep minds and truth and reality are; you know they have monsters, just like you do, and how do you trust a monster? How does anyone trust you? Are you here, Mrs. Singleton? Are you real? Did you know, this is all a foolish dream?

As you writhe in the arms of insanity I would tell you, this is not a punishment. This is an education, just like the one you gave me. Universally, truth has always been the most painful of all burdens to bear, and yours will be no different. And you can soothe yourself afterwards with all the stories of people who, no doubt, loved you till the end of their lives, thought you were an angel from god, and remember that all is not lost. It's true, Mrs. Singleton; all is not lost, nor is it simple to understand.

But before you go into that good night, I must implore you to take all your truths with you on your way out. Too long your disease, your fear, your terrible mistakes and ignorant arrogance have feasted away at my soul and pulled me back down into the darkness I've fought tooth, claw and nail to escape. And you are done. You chose to make yourself a part of a child's life, and you failed her.

The very least you owe her is a second chance.

I am the queen of this forest, and however dark it may get, these monsters are mine and mine alone. No longer will you rule them.

So take your claws and your hatred and be gone from my fucking mind. Because the sacrificial lamb you created is become the wolf, and she is done with your lies.



This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

Celebrating the Marlboro Monopoly Act

I thought I'd celebrate today with a very brief review of case studies on smokers, a bit of info on previous smoking bans and some random other tidbits. As of today, the Marlboro Monopoly Act (aka, the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act) has made all cigarettes containing these flavors illegal: (not menthol), strawberry, grape, orange, clove, cinnamon, pineapple, vanilla, coconut, licorice, cocoa, chocolate, cherry, and coffee. This is restricted only to cigarettes (wrapped in paper) and not cigars (wrapped in tobacco), so the clove industry (the only tested smoke with health benefits) has already begun making cigar versions of their clove products. This is also the beginning of a 12-year plan for the FDA to greatly reduce the amount of tar and nicotine in all American cigarettes at a slow rate.

The negatives are well-known at this point, so here are some positives that've gone without mention:

* Smokers are more honest than non-smokers (to the point where a commentator on the study referred to this as "abrasively honest"). [1]

* Smokers generally have an increased sex drive, 55% of aged 19-27 smokers being in sexually active relationships as opposed to 15% of non-smokers (the gap increasing as age does). [2]

* Smokers have an increased reaction-time (7% quicker), process information more quickly (21.65% quicker) and have improved short-term memory (5.76% higher retention). [3]

* A fifth of smokers only smoke four days out of the week. Men populate the majority of heavy smokers while women have less success quitting. [4]

* Most smokers believe smoking is worse for you than it really is, overstating health disorders and mortality rates. [5]


As to non-smokers, there is a long history of anti-smoking policies found most heavily in totalitarian governments. From the closure and burning of smoking cafes in Persia to early American 9-pin alleys, but the only one that beats out current U.S. policy is that of Nazi Germany. It should be noted that this most recent policy is nothing new, as America has trended more and more towards both Fascism and Communism for close to a century. Here are tidbits on anti-smoking from the master race:

* From Hitler, himself: "Tobacco is the wrath of the Red Man against the White Man for being given hard liquor." [6]

* Smoking was banned in all public places, government offices, shared living quarters and by any uniformed police and officers. [7]

* Smoking rose by almost 50% during the Nazi anti-smoking propaganda period. [8]

* Germany raised more than a billion Reichsmarks a year from 1937 to 1941, contributing to 1/12th of the funding used to build their army and launch the war. [9]

* "Passivrauchen" (trans. "Passive Smoking") was coined by the Nazi Anti-Tobacco League. Fritz Lickint, its author, gave no evidence to support its claim against environmental poisoning nor for the claim that coffee caused cancer, although both his statements were worked into Nazi propaganda. [10]

* The Nazi Reich Health Office produced posters stating that smoking was the filthy habit of Jews, Gypsies, blacks, intellectuals and Indians. [directly from preserved posters]


References:

1. "Smoking: The Artificial Passion", David Krogh
http://www.amazon.com/Smoking-Artificial-Passion-David-Krogh/dp/0716722461

2. "Smoking, Personality and Stress", Hans J. Eysenck, King's College, London, England
http://www.amazon.com/Smoking-Health-Personality-Hans-Eysenck/dp/0765806398

3. "Effects of nicotine and smoking on event-related potentials: a review", Pritchard W & Sokhadze E & Houlihan M., St Thomas College, New Brunswick, Canada
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11498715 [summary]

4. "Individual Differences in Smoking and Nicotine Addiction", Saul Shiffman, University of Pittsburgh
http://www.drugabuse.gov/meetsum/nicotine/slides/21Shiffman/ShiffSlides.html

5. "Smoking: making the risky decision", "Patterns of Risk Perception", W.Kip Viscusi, Harvard

6. "Hitlers Tischgesprache im Fuhrerhauptquartier", Picker H., Bonn: Athenaum Verlag, 1951

7. "Die Genussgifte", Rauchverbot fur die Polizei auf Strassen und in Dienstraumen, 1940;36:59

8. "Smoking and death", Smith G D & Strobele S A & Egger M, BMJ1995;310:396

9. "Der Tabak, sein Anbau undseine Verarbeitung", Reckert FK. Tabakwarenkunde, Berlin-Schoneberg: Max Schwabe, 1942.

10. "Berlin: alcohol, tobacco and coffee", JAMA 1939;113:1144-5

Information on Marlboro's Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Smoking_Prevention_and_Tobacco_Control_Act



Lastly, one more factoid on smokers: the majority of innovators, as well as early adopters, are smokers. With the heavy research going into locating, securing and maintaining a pool of innovators within each company, the profile of an innovator is very well known at this point. For my last three months before leaving my previous job, the top three performing agents in the world were all found most often in the forest outside the building smoking together. Rock! Here is one of the first studies that discovered this:

"Psychological characteristics of innovators", Abraham Pizam, European Journal of Marketing, ISSN:0309-0566
http://www.emeraldinsight.com/Insight/viewContentItem.do?contentType=Article&contentId=852555

Suicide Through Pleasure by ~Ally23 on deviantART

Piracy, 4 Fun 'n Profit

US Vice Admiral William Gortney, commander of the US Navy's Fifth Fleet, said: "There is no reason not to be a pirate."

That's right. Now's the time to turn pirate! Seriously. Most targeted ships don't carry weapons. Also, even if caught, there is almost no way to bring a pirate to court due to international treatises. Corporations cannot even fire on a vessel or its people until the pirates have physically boarded their ship, or have connected the two ships in an attempt to board. If they do, they can be taken to court... and will lose. Ah, the lovely world of legalized (tamed) justice. That's right pirates.. . the law's on your side.

It's also fairly cheap, at least when compared to the investments it may take to get into other criminal careers. The ratio of potential gains to start-up costs is possibly the highest return-rate in all the black market. Don't forget the fact that you get to wear a sword. Gotta love international waters.

If you think I'm joking, think again. Here's a good place to start:
The business case for high-seas piracy

If you're thinking about turning pirate, here's where to find other like-minded parties:
Live Piracy Map

I'm free for some high-seas piracy in March of 2013. Anyone pirates who read this and have had any success, please contact me around that time. I have no morals and I'm a quick learner. I have many references, a few of which are still alive. Have your peeps write my peeps. Nos vemos.

Socrates

Socrates, quotes
I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.

There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance.

I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.

False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.

The unexamined life is not worth living for a human being.

You will know that the divine is so great and of such a nature that it sees and hears everything at once, is present everywhere, and is concerned with everything.

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live.

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Note: It is unknown whether Socrates was real, or simply an imaginary tool used in transmitting early philosophies. If real, then it is unknown just how real the image we have of Socrates is, or how far distorted from the source it has become. The image taken is from a bust of Socrates in the Louvre, edited by myself. The quotes are verified translations from surviving works attributed to the name Socrates.

Capitalist Pigs and Commie Bastards

Capitalist Pigs and Commie Bastards
by Lamat Kan

Capitalist Pigs and Commie Bastards. The insults carry with them negative connotations from their respective corners of the ring. The greed found in most Capitalists marks them as pigs, growing only more and more fat as they eat well beyond their needs. Commies like to cut as much of the fat off the pigs as possible, and turn around and give it to the poor. It would sound all fine and dandy, were not a great portion of it going to the black market, a section of society that doesn't report its earnings, and grows wealthy from such systems.

Capitalists are murderers. Communists are thieves. Capitalists take peoples' lives. Communists take peoples' property. In America, Capitalism's current flagship, the murder rate is rampant. In China, Communism's timeworn fortress, you don't take anything there with you that you wanna bring back.

Capitalism starts wars, taking their property... by right of conquest, of course. Kill, then steal. There's a little bit o' the Commie in every Capitalist. The Communists take property, then kill any dissenters. Steal, then kill. Ah, the better to fatten our Commie with. Smells like bacon.

Capitalist Pigs love us-versus-them-ism. "We're right and they're wrong. Let's kill 'em 'n take their land." However, when a bigger pig comes along, you'll find these piggies begging for their lives, or find them trying to prove their righteousness so that the bigger pig doesn't eat them for their wrongness. They end by posing the question: "If wrong, how can we ever know better if never given the chance?" To which the answer: "Are they who show no mercy worthy of it?"

Communism loves equality. It loves it so much, that the mountains must all be chiseled down so as not to rise above the treeline of the forest. "None should have more than any other. The thought of possession itself must be exercised from society as the demon it is." Bastards shout and applaud when the government steps in to tell businesses how they must be run, yet they are the first to protest when the government steps in to tell the Bastards what they can and cannot do in their own households... in their own lives.

A Capitalist Pig is as much a hypocrite as the Commie Bastards. However, these are the most corrupt forms of systems that both have positive functions for society.

Capitalism excels at rapid innovation, but fails when faced with long-term staying power. This is most apparent in American architecture, which is more quickly torn down than it is erected. Capitalism plays into the greed of the pig, promoting companies who patent batteries that could last decades so that no one else can sell this very battery. After all, they couldn't sell very many of these once everyone had a set. And what happens if a marketed innovation is released in haste, and is later to be found out to be more detrimental than beneficial? Leaded gasoline, asbestos, fast food... happens all the time.

Communism is a master of retention, yet plodding and awkward when trying to change course. "If something works, then keep using it. In fact, put systems in place to ensure its usage becomes far-spread and long-lasting." And when a better system comes along? With so much invested in the previous system, the inertia already set in place causes the system to reject the improvement. "If it works right now, it'll work in ten-years. Nevermind that the leg has healed, I'm sticking to the crutch."

Capitalism has the speed to outrace Communism, but it hasn't the endurance. Communism has a ship the waves can't sink, and a constant wind at its back, but it hasn't any sails or rudder. Both have strengths and failings, and both are a part of our nature. To deny the importance of either is to betray a sense of ignorance, if not a psychological disorder within the mind that holds to this opinion.

The end result of Capitalism is Anarchy. The end result of Communism is Der Stat--Statism. The only true Justice between these (as within the Universe) is that of a well-oiled scale, and with neither side weighted. Any law that allows a person to infringe on the life or property of another is already weighted towards Anarchy. Any law that takes away any freedoms for an individual to govern themselves or their property is already towards Statism. Any law that follows either path no longer serves Justice, but works against it.

If you're not sure what side of the scales you spend most of your time sitting on, then you can take a measure of just which half of these writings offended you most, or which side you found yourself defending, or which arguments you considered subpar. These are all triggered by resistance. If you think I've burnt the bacon, or put the bastard out to die, then you're either more of a pig or more of a bastard. It's okay to be offended. It tells you where you're in denial.

House of Leaves

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House of Leaves
by Mark Z Danielewski

URL: www.onlyrevolutions.com
Amazon: House of Leaves [trade paperback]
Wiki: wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_leaves
Rating: 5/5

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A Book of Many Distortions Have you ever held a vial of mercury? Do you remember your surprise that first time? Your surprise to find the weight your eyes had told your hands to expect was a lie? This is the experience that often comes to mind when finding myself again holding this book... each time I find myself tempted to once again wander the halls within the House of Leaves. This book is heavy, much more physically weighty than eyes say it should be. Whether this was intentionally crafted by the creators, or if this is only a residual psychosomatic phenomenon as a result of having read the book, I couldn't say. Both are plausible. Because of how much work was put into distorting this book, I suspect the former cause. If so, this is only the first of a great many intended distortions. "House of Leaves" is a work of art that appears to be a book, and draws heavily from the genre of literature. It then adds from much more experimental fields to create a specific effect, while simultaneously telling multiple stories. The end result (at first glance) could be mistaken as "just some book". This sensory illusion quickly falls apart shortly into the reading. Mercury. The reason such a small quantity is so heavy, of course, is due to density. There is simply more matter contained in the occupied space than past experiences have prepared your mind to expect. This darkness, density and weight is the intended effect behind "House of Leaves". The family at the core of this story, trained by experience to expect time and space to operate in only one way, first meet with this darkness upon the discovery that their house is larger on the inside than on the outside. To briefly cover the introduction, the days following this discovery were barely captured, and only on some home video footage and notes. Zampano, who pieced this all together with tape, ink and every available writing surface, called this "The Navidson Record". Johnny Truant, who took the dead Zampano's notes from the apartment of the deceased, claims that this record is a lie. Both, however, realize that the truth or falsity of this record does not affect the story's telling. What follows is The Navidson Record, detailing these last days, with footnotes from Zampano, Johnny Truant and The Editors. As previously stated, it is not long until... well... things fall apart. The family, the minds of those who passed on the notes, and the book itself. If you've not yet read "House of Leaves", something inside me wants to tell you "this book is for you" ...and... "put aside everything else 'til you've read it". The more honest part of me--the part that's been stirred to raw emotions at only the thought of this book, and can open to nearly any page to feel my eyes tear up--wants to let you know that, should you finish it, this book will not leave you as the same person you were before entering the House of Leaves; that, here, there is no forgiveness, no salvation, no yellow-brick road; that, within these pages is a creature of shadow, and that this darkness adapts to you--the reader--the more you read. To those readers strong in spirit, who seek that rare strength found only in facing an even stronger fear: "Seek ye, in the House of Leaves, a forge to form or break your spirit." To all else: "Seek ye, elsewhere, your salvation." Mind you the opening words in this book: this book is not for you Rate this review here.

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(Untitled Fragment) Little solace comes to those who grieve when thoughts keep drifting as walls keep shifting and this great blue world of ours seems a house of leaves moments before the wind.

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~ Copyright Mark Z Danielewski ~
~ a work of ONLY REVOLUTIONS ~
~ Pantheon Books, Random House, Inc. ~

Opening poem and "Untitled Fragment" are copyright Random House Publications. All rights reserved. Inclusion permitted via the Fair Use subsection of the United States copyright law of 1976.

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with thanks to Zero for my introduction

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Landlore, Featured City: Austin, Texas

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Featured City: Austin, Texas
Landlore: V1, Mid-North America
Motto: "Keep Austin Weird"
Guest-post by: Kantiki Jayamana Whateva

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[The contents of this entry are copyrighted material of the author, Kantiki Jayamana Whateva. This material may not be re-printed without written permission from the author.]

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[Printable text version is available here.]

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Disclaimer: The contents of this [entry], with exception to physical locations, are works of fiction. Especially anything that may be illegal. Those are big fat fibs from a naughty liarhead!

The characters—me, God or any other—are either completely fabricated or have been exaggerated to the point of caricature. Any resembles these characters and stories may have to factual counterparts are by pure chance.

Nothing contained herein is endorsed by the author. The included material has been expressed for artistic merit, alone, and in no way should be considered a “[guide]” of any kind.

By [...] reading this [entry], you have agreed to remain a calm, docile, law-abiding citizen of whatever country laser-etched the bar-code into your flesh. If you break this agreement, then you're a bad ponky, who should be spanked and placed in dire grail-shaped peril.

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An ATX Welcome: If you ask a traveler from another country what one city should be seen if visiting North America, the majority of the time you're going to get one answer: "Austin, Texas!" The ATX 3rd Coast, and "Last Free Port of North America," has no mountains and no oceans. It's near no other major cities that people might give a hot-damn about. In fact, relative to the rest of the United States, it is a nice stretch "out of the way." Yet, the city's reputation for individual rights, fun (and weird) environments, a booming job market and music, music everywhere just keeps proving itself true. Welcome to Austin.

The ratio of "Damn Your Cool" peeps to the "I Coulda Been a Contenda" others is noticeably higher here. The variety in scenes, skill-sets and opinions nearly match this ratio. The University of Texas, one of the highest populations in the country, brings in a fresh supply of young hot-bodied intellects each year from all directions. Austin is the Capital of Texas, a title stolen fair and square from the city of Houston, and draws in political activists and politicians alike. Silicon Hills brings in one technophile after another, and comes with a premier list of jobs to pick up some quick cash from. Thanks to Willie Nelson, Janis Joplin and Stevie Ray Vaughen, the alternative music scene born out of Austin in the '70s has only grown, by leaps and bounds, until Austin claimed the rightful title of "Live Music Capital of the World."

With such a hippie movement, yuppies were soon to follow, but they've brought their health stores, parks and bike shops with them... so we forgive 'em. In fact, the health scene is a dominant player in the city, and you don't have to be a yuppie to be a health nut. Most of the "Weird" scene, as well as larger companies, have adapted their menus to suit this demand.

There is also a large population of Mexicans, of Texans (not to be confused with Austinites) and Californians. The latter two fight to see who is taking away the next set of rights. Appropriately, the population of Austin, fed up with Democratic thievery and Republican killing sprees, has grown more and more Independent Libertarian with each year.

The city is as spiritually varied between religions, harboring one of the most open Christian churches in the world, and one of the most beautiful Buddhist Temples to be experienced. The many Pagan holidays (along with those Christian holidays still on lend from the Pagans) nearly all have organized gatherings and events to herald them in. The tolerance of varying religious beliefs and philosophies is matched only by their driving passions.

Let me end this on a bit of an off note... okay, quite a bit offf ff f—the Weirds. The true treasure of this port is the culture behind “Keep Austin Weird.” This is one patchwork mushroom dropping city of culture, and the lifeblood flows back to the Heart of Weirdness. Independent Thinkers and Indie Companies alike comprise the Weirding, and the only rules seem to be: “Don't let ya momma dress ya,” “Don't carbon copy the competition” and “Overboard just means more fun in the water.” The movement's main network for communication is the Austin Chronicle [http://www.austinchronicle.com/], available at most weirdstops, and the Keep Austin Weird organization itself [www.keepaustinweird.com]. If you're going to Austin, bring a pink cowboy hat.

The Bad: I was sure to tally complaints made from others so that I could formulate at list some complaints against the Paradise of North America. I'll just get those out of the way now.

Heat: I am a heat junkie. I love desert dry heat almost as much as I love the stinking monster of a jungle heat that leaps on you and doesn't dismount until you've left it's hunting grounds. Needless to say, I didn't lodge this complaint against the city. Many be the whining voices who've lodged it for me. A little hundred degree weather, to me, simply means less clothing on the female forms I love so much... and Austin has no shortage in this department.

Shape-Shifting Maps: You want a street, highway or loop with five names? We got it. Hell, we have streets with the exact same names that actually parallel themselves. Streets that change directions? Check. Unmarked dead ends? Got 'em! Downhill roads that end in a lake. Oh, yeah! Booyakashah! And don't even think about pronouncing them right. Just point, grab someone, and ask how the hell you say the name. In fact, that goes for some areas of the city. The closest thing to a “Main Street” is Lamar, and Lamar's is as straight and narrow as American politics is free of corruption. I love it. Anyone running deliveries hates me for loving it. I love 'em for hating me for...

ATX Drivers: It's not the traffic that's bad. Traffic's worse in many places. It's the drivers. The Texas DMV, deciding to jump on the environmentalist bandwagon of the city, decided decades ago that it would make their jobs so much more easy if they just planted trees that grew new driver's licenses each spring. It's a decision that's lead to many a death by high-speed vehicular grenade bombardment. Any dramatic shift in weather means that stupidity rains from the sky, soaks the roads and looks on dumbstruck and frozen as other drivers decide to give 'em a kiss at the appropriately stupid speeds. Did I mention there's too many Californians and Texans here? The Californians have their cell phones doing the driving, and the Texans, who can't see the cars below their trucks and SUVs, drive moving masses of death with no care to who's driving around them. Of course, other darklings such as myself can simply avoid all this by driving at night.

Wilco-Texas: At last we reach a complaint even I can get behind. Austin's in the godfrakked middle of Texas. In fact, it marks the very center of the Texan Yin-Yang. To the West, only hills, sand and rock mark the vapid stretch of wastes leading to El Paso and beyond. To the East, there be farms, jungle and bayou leading to the stinkhole that is Houston. Getting an American to visit Austin, their first reaction is almost always, “Isn't that in Texas?” Yes, we're surrounded by it. No matter how much we try and deny this, Austin remains an oasis of light in the darkness of Texas.

The factual reality of this has lead to a type of war, of which battle-lines have been drawn between the counties of Williamson (to the North) and Travis (to the South). Travis, for all its corruption, remains very liberal in the rights granted to those under its protection... which just happens to be most of Austin. Wilco, on the other hand, is infamously a police-state collective of cities. Wilco has shot a man who was trying to commit suicide, has prosecuted people found with only one marijuana seed and tried for prison, then makes illegal arrests within Travis territory.

I once crossed the Travis-Wilco border on a walk up to the Alamo Lake Creek and saw a Travis officer doing traffic duty for the construction along Hwy 183. When traffic cleared, I walked over to his side of the road and jovially shouted out, “You know Wilco claims this territory, don't ya? Shouldn't they be doing this?” The officer laughed and said in his harshest, most gravelly voice: “Wilco couldn't handle this job.”

The Good: Now that we've got thems baddies outta the way, let's just wiggle our way on to fun, profit and firearms.

Healthnutz: Inner city hiking trails, biking lanes, organic grocers, gyms, sports... you know, I'll just stop there. Should any technophobic Ludists publicly express the belief that humans need no improvement on their design, or that immortality is unnatural, they would find themselves outnumbered and at risk of being heard by someone who makes a hobby of collecting black belts from various martial arts. If only this meant: “You want health, we got your healthy right here! You want grease, we got grease comin' outta the gutta.” Sadly, the healthnutz had to go healthnazi, and have extended this fine form of Californian Communism over the Austin arena. This is seeded in the belief that people must be made better if they won't do it for themselves, and is shown in the smoking ban that was passed (and has been failing). Of course, the negative affect this had on the music and weird scenes required a counter-assault of simply ignoring the ban, more and more, in protest.

Hitchville: Getting a ride into and out of Austin, Texas has always been one of the most easy ventures for me. It's an eight-hour stretch from El Paso to Austin, and a single ride has always dropped me into the city or near enough to make the last bit myself. Houston's just down the hill, and getting to Austin from there is almost as easy as the jaunt up from San Antone. Leaving Dallas means reaching Austin by night, and, as with most of Texas, you can hitch right along the Interstate. On my first hitch ever into the city, an Austinite pulled up beside me and handed me a bag of Breakfast tacos as I walked. I wasn't sure what else to say other than “thank you.”

CapMetro: Capital Metro, our fair maiden of transportation, has a pretty impressive fleet of buses. There's bike racks, night fliers, free “ozone” days and an express system for those of us who are hightailing our asses out of the city as quickly as possible. Now, here's the maraschino cherry at the bottom of the bottle of tequila—it costs fiddy cent to ride (a greenback on an express). Too pricey? It's only ten dead presidents for a thirty-day pass. I actually miss this bus system when having to deal with the rundown rejectabuses in most other cities. Most of CapMetro's bus system actually runs on an approximate schedule... and then there's the 383. The 383 is known, throughout the city, for being far too early, far too late, or even skipping that scheduled period altogether. I've even had it pass me while the driver looked right at me, and have had an eye out for that driver ever since. Basically, don't make any tight plans if the 383 is involved, and you'll lead a much happier life. Oh, yeah, and we have a free downtown 'Dillo system. That was all me. I did that.
[www.capmetro.org, 512.389.7400, 2910 East 5th Street, 78702]

Signage: W00T w00t! City after city has been making curb-side signage illegal. When we switched to selling things, those laws soon grew to encompass simply remaining for too long on a body of raised concrete (or other public construct) than was needed to move away from the street. Not so in Austin. Not yet. We have some rather legendary homeless, and defenders of the homeless here. The rumors rose, and has yet to be put down, that the signs made by bums here in the city are the sole source of any creative signmanship in the nation. The alternative is that we have some very up-on-current national signage homebums. “Ninjas killed my family...,” “Spaceship broken...,” “Visions of a...” and more I have seen pop up in this little city, then later saw in another city.

Gaea's Cradle: Let the whiners crybaby their eyes out 'bout the heat, but the ATX is nearly natural disaster free. There's a percentile collective of low possibilities: tornado, earthquake, divine wrath—but I've seen not a dollop o any of 'em. Nature loves us. We love her. This city is strikingly green, as in lush vegetation nearly everywhere, trees growing out of the middle of a parking lot and a series of drainage ditches, lakes and reservoirs to help ensure that it never floods. In this very year (2k7), we have had rain at least once every three out of four days, and the city just soaks it up and spits back out oxygen at us. Terrible habit—spitting—but the minor flooding has been worth the regenerative gift this year's rain has brought. This is a good time to state that, at least two years that I've stayed here, I have actually seen it rain for more than a week straight without any pause. Both of these years, there has been, also, rains off and on for more than two months straight. The city has years where there's only two seasons—Summer and Not-Summer—then it has its bi-polar spit on the mortals years.

Green Me Up: Let me frame this inclusion with the knowledge that I am in almost as much contention with the Green Party as I am with lobbying groups (such as CEI) that accept funding to put out anti-global warming research papers that not only mis-quote data, but will actually change the research being done. Both sides are rather disgusting. In the case of the Austin Green Party, I am much less torn. There is still the hint of Communism behind their definition of “Decentralization,” and their key value of “Feminism and Gender Equity” still betrays a small mind that wants only to fight for its own rights, and not equal rights, but they have done a lot of good for this city and are more approachable and malleable to ideas than in other cities. Beyond the recycling programs, the ATX Green Party will pay for 75% of your solar panel costs to buy and costs to install. Then the city pays you for any energy you put back into the system. Any interested parties will find much more than this through the Green Party network.
[www.traviscountygreens.org]

3-Degrees: Austin is a really large smalltown. Over 700,000 soulfires burn here. Stars, within the star of the Lone Star State... just another white star in a field of stars on blue beneath the stars above. In this city, at any time, you are likely only separated from any other person in the city by three degrees. A huge part of the cause is the music scene. So many people are part of one or more bands, either on or off stage, that you are constantly getting to know and love yet another Austinite when you find out that you've been right nearby each other already on multiple occasions. If your a positive person, this means you'll positively affect your environment and will love the lessening of degrees. If you're negative, however, I'm sure I'll someday hear word of you slowly cutting yourself off and planning an escape from the city.

Art and Activism: Something's going on. Anyone who's bored in Austin has chosen boredom. We have concerts so often that it's hard to avoid them, art exhibits at restaurants and coffee shops and warehouses for forging, sculpting, carving or exposing photographs in a studio's darkroom. The activists may get political, or may have simply found a niche that society's called for (for instance, whoever's truly brilliant idea it was to make www.austingasprices.com so that Austinites could track cheap gas prices). Finally, the two huge run in the opposite direction events of the year are SXSW (South by South-West) and ACL (Austin City Limits). You're either going, or your staying a safe distance away, and it almost always depends on what bands are flying in from where in the world on to tell what side of this line you'll be sitting or moshing on.

---

The Kantiki ATX Experience [outline]

Zilker ~ The Hippie Experience:
* Zilker Botanical Garden
* Barton Creek
* Baby Acapulco's ~ Baby A's
* Planet K
* Book People
* Whole Foods Central ATX
* HI-Austin

6th Street ~ The Clubber Experience:
* The Congress Street Bat Colony ~ The Bat Cave
* Embassy Suites Town Lake
* DJ Tetsuo
* seaflea
* Plush
* Alamo 1
* Leslie
* ARCH ~ The Arch

The Main Drag ~ El Studente:
* The Capital Building
* Schlotzsky's
* UT Campus
* Buffalo Exchange ~ Weird Willy's
* Kasbah
* Half-Price Books ~ The Warehouse Half-Price
* Epoch Coffee ~ The Poch

The Village ~ de l'Occident a l'Orient:
* Trainhop-Point
* Grape Vine Market
* The Graveyard ~ The 24, Tex and The Den
* The Academy of Oriental Medicine:
*** Korea House
*** White Crane
* Alamo Village

The Arboretum ~ The Yuppy Experience:
* REI
* The Arboretum and Duck Pond
* 360 Point
* Fo Guang Shan Hsiang Yun Temple
* Spicewood Springs Rd

The Border ~ Last Call for Weird:
* Chuy’s 183 ~ Chuy Chica Boom Boom
* Kerbey Lane North ~ The Kerb
* B B Rover's Cafe and Pub ~ BB's
* The Tea House
* Starbucks Anderson Mill ~ The Bucks
* Jardin Corona
* Alamo Lake Creek
* Oak Knoll Shell

Round Rock ~ The North Gate
~ Keep Round Rock Mildly Unusual ~
* Freebirds Tech Ridge
* Katherine Fleischer Park
* Saradora's

---

The Kantiki ATX Experience:

The Hippie Experience...

HI-Austin: Hostelers International Austin is possibly the best hostel in the States. Even while living elsewhere in the city, there is the temptation to go spend a night at HI-Austin just to take in the travelers' spirit that pervades this place, and to meet the new faces passing through my city. Andre, a friend who won an American green card in a Russian lottery, was given work here after only a night so that he didn't have to pay the daily fee. This is something not found in the majority of American hostels, and is only one of many things on a list of such things. The environment is a heavy mix of Austin and European, and there's no curfew forcing you back in at night. It's a great place to stow your bag before heading out.
[www.hiaustin.org, 2200 S Lakeshore Blvd, 78741, 512.444.2294, $22]

Barton Creek: The #29 that runs along Riverside will actually stop right in front of Barton Hills Elementary. Whether on foot or by car, however, you'll need to cross over to the back of the elementary school. The entrance is little more than a wide rocky trail that parts the thick growth of trees on both sides, and it winds for about a mile down to the river that cuts through the greenbelt. Once there, however, you'll find the part easy enough. This area makes for a great sushi picnic while sitting on rocks partially submerged in water. The water has formed a natural waterslide here to douse yourself if getting too hot. During the weekends, you'll find quite a few people down here.
[entrance from behind Barton Hills Elementary]

Zilker Botanical Garden: One of the more scenic stops is a bit up the hill from the rest of Zilker Park, and a better place to be taken than to lug your backpack into. If the person you're with just happens to be a romantic interest, then “all the better to eat you with, my dear.” The gardens are striking both in the selections and landscape. Fragrance, color and careful tending set apart each garden, and winding paths lead beneath wooden arches through the hills, from one garden to the next. Take time to get lost, then find your way back.
[2220 Barton Springs Rd, Austin, Texas, 512.477.8672]

Baby A's: Any trained bartender is going to tell you the tequila is the main liquor you're going to need if you're making margaritas. Baby Acapulco is going to tell you that this is incorrect. They believe that tequila just isn't enough alcohol for their customers, which is why they use everclear instead. It's the healthy choice. Were it only hiker-friendly, I would likely suggest this place with more gusto. During off-hours, however, you'll find that they'll take just about anyone.
[www.babyacapulco.com, 1628 Barton Springs Rd, 78701, 512.474.8774, Fr/Sa 11a-2a]

Taco Cabana: One-dozen fresh flour tortillas for $1.99, with a salsa bar that contains the temptuous succulent that is salsa de fuego. The Cabanas throughout Texas are havens to hikers everywhere for this one meal, although they make so much more that the tongue does thank Mexico for. The Riverside location, like so many others, has this thing about not closing. That means walk-in cheap tortillas with fixins around the clock. If any of the ATX restaurants I mention seem pricey, or give you and your backpack any harsh looks, then flip 'em the bird and find a nearby Cabana. Trust me, there's one nearby. Grab your grub and go take up space on their deck outside for some hours of solace when the heat of the day is in its prime.
[Lamar and Riverside]

Planet K: I'm not saying there's anything illegal going on in Austin... but there is. The most legal outskirts of this movement is a series of headshops that have been dubbed “Planet K.” The K Box is usually found aside two other criminal establishments: AAA News and The Doll House. That latter one is the shadiest, while the former could almost be mistaken for “innocent” (from the outside). Planet K makes little attempt to hide its vile nature, and what sweet villainy there do be found within these walls. If you're planning any dark ops and want to get psyched up in the way only the followers of the Old Man on the Mountain once were, then this is your stop... well... for many things. It's worth seeing just for the character, even if your intentions are strictly legal.
[www.planetktexas.com, 1516 S Lamar, 78704, 512.443.2292]

Book People: Powell's Book Store in Chicago is the only comparison I have for this place. What variety Book People cannot beat Powell's out on is overcome with attrition. Book people is floor after floor of books, most of which you've likely never heard of. There remains plenty selections culled from mainstream marketing, but the bulk of this place has somehow been imported and built from an unknown world of books to any who've never before been outside a Borderz or Barnz n Nobleez. I actually suggest that someone who is just getting interested in a topic begin here, as the views express are diverse, yet passionate and oftentimes well analyzed. Fleshing out this newfound knowledge with mainstream information and Internet research has proven a fruitful endeavor to me time and again.
[www.bookpeople.com, 603 N Lamar, Austin, TX 78703, 512.472.5050, 9a-11p]

Whole Foods Central ATX: The Whole Foods in DT ATX is more of a great way to spend an afternoon than just to stop by quickly. It hides many different areas, inside and out, and your nose and tongue will find many different delectables throughout the whole of this playground. Hitting the place this early on means you can stock up on picnics for the whole trip, or, if you're in the money at the moment, then eat well from the extended cafeteria. It's a great place to sit down and waste away a day inside of a book. You'll need to head over to the sidewalk to smoke anything, and will still catch a look or two, but smiling and offering the glaring eyes a cigarette seems to go a long way. Always remind them: “It's never too late to start!”
[525 N Lamar Blvd, Austin, TX 78703, 512.476.1206, 8a-10p]

The Clubber Experience...

The Bat Cave: It was Tom Robbins who so correctly cornered Tequila as “the drink of outlaws.” The United States of America was created by a populace of criminals, religious outcasts, heretics, anarchists and revolutionaries. Austin just seems to be the place who never forget this fine heritage. As such, you could say that we like our tequila. Interestingly enough, the bats which pollinate the agave cacti from which tequila is born of live right here in the ATX. Not only do they live here, but we made it a point to improve their living area. Austin, Texas has the largest urban bat colony in the world, harboring almost two-million little criminal makers beneath the Congress Street Bridge. You can't miss the huge statue of a bat just on the South side of the bridge, and following the bridge around the East side will lead you to the colony. Be sure to show up an hour before sunset, as the flight into darkness is not to be missed.

Embassy Suites Town Lake: There's this long-standing tradition of holding a free cocktail hour at the Embassy Suites for its guests. Of course, it'd be rude to ask each guess to show their room's keycard or question their right to be there. This means just about anyone looking the part and backing it with action is just as welcome to those free drinks. Tip a dollar per free drink, at the very least, but get lushed up here before walking up Congress to 6th Street... where the drinks would cost you a paycheck.
[300 S Congress Ave, 78704, 512.469.9000]

DJ Tetsuo: You can't miss the combination of thick spikes for hair coming out of a suit jacket, and there's no replacing who may be Austin's greatest free-style DJ. You have to hit him late at night, when the bars give him free reign to release his own personal brand of insanity onto the floor, but that is when the true monster comes out. DJ Tetsuo, when set free, mixes between one track and another on a list of hundreds every thirty to sixty-seconds, creating a hard hitting evolution sequenced only the a changing BPM that unites each track. Currently, it's best to find this creature at the Co-Op Bar on a Thursday or Friday night.
[http://www.myspace.com/dj_tetsuo]

seaflea: My favorite band to see live in Austin is called “seaflea.” Just what is a seaflea? seaflea's members do be Bret, Jeremy, Jon-Michael and Matt, and managed by iTodd. If I were the one required to apply only a single tag to mark this band's genre, I would go with “progressive rock.” The band blends one song into the next with masterwork instrumentation, mixes metaphors between at least two vocalists and has an amazing degree of “how in the hell aren't they signed yet” thrown into the mix. It seems their primary venue's moved from Redrum to the Red Eye Fly, although you'd be best to check dates and info from online. Oh, and any other electronica artists such as myself may get the same kick out of seeing how they've integrated a Micron into their set. Enjoy! Tell 'em Jaya sent ya!
[www.seaflea.net, http://www.myspace.com/seaflea, http://www.last.fm/music/seaflea]

Fiesta 6: There are three times during the year that really try to draw an Austinite down into the dark trappings of 6th Street: Mardi Gras, or Carnival, or Halloween. Halloween is my preferred night of attendance, and I've actually made it a point to be in-city when Halloween hits. Depending on the energy of the year, this scene could mean rubber bullets from the police or one hell of a good party bordering on rubber bullets. The only way to find out is to strap on your flippers and jump in the pool.
[www.6street.com]

Plush: The night Lotus introduced me to Plush is what we're going to call “a good night.” It was Tuesday, which was drum and bass night. Julie, Grommet and more had been putting on such a set that this tiny venue had packed. To keep dancing was the only way to hold your own space. The word has slowly spread that the place to be for electronica is Club Plush. Plush has continued making a series of good decisions to retain a core following of electronica lovers and high-power DJs at the heart of this scene. It remains one of my few draws to this area.
[617 Red River St, Austin, TX 78701, 512.478.0099]

Alamo 1: The 1st Alamo Drafthouse Theater ever. That's right, here began a legacy of beer, pizza, movies and downright oddities. If a bucket of popcorn and a soda is going to cost you an arm and a leg at a normal theater, then why not saw off that arm and a leg and barter it for something that tastes better and will leave you well-buzzed? It was a concept just waiting to happen. The original location has closed, although you could walk around the Warehouse District on 5th to see where it once stood. News states that it will re-open at 320 E 6th Street, where the Ritz Theater is, in Fall of '07.
[www.drafthouse.com]

Leslie: The Cross-Dressing Mayoral Nominee of Austin. Our fair lady of the streets was second when running for Mayor, and, although housed, is an avid freedom fighter for the homeless. Leslie's thonged physique can often be found prowling 6th Street by night, and flying anti-APD banners by day. Earlier, when praising Travis County, I made no mention of the downtown police force. The ATXDTAPD are trigger-happy, they're corrupt and they've little regard for human life or hospital bills. These federales are the cause behind many of Leslie's more abrasive attacks against the APD, and not the Travis County locals you'll hang out with over coffee elsewhere. Had only Leslie one the Mayoral Election, there would have been a great many changes concerning these sanctioned thugs.
[http://myspace.com/44499851]

ARCH: The Austin Resource Center for the Homeless. Actually, I had no frakkin clue what the acronym was for until I looked it up a second ago. It's the Arch. It's in downtown. It has showers, but never been able to get into the shelter. Also, it's got laundry facilities and soap, but show up way early because slots fill up quick and, thanks to the many amenities Austin affords the homeless, right alongside the weather, the homeless population in the ATX is bloated but beautifully varied throughout its populace. You may want to look into discount bus passes, and they may let you use them as your address should you need to have any wealthy Nigerian princes send you a check.
[7th and Neches, 512.305.4100, www.frontsteps.org]

El Studente...

The Capital Building: Texas has this whole “size matters” thing going. It does stuff big. In fact, it seems to dislike doing anything average or small. Were it not for that bit of auto-rejection of what's smaller or more normal, I would say this was a display of wealth and not just an attempt to compensate for... well, you know... Anyone who just had a chuckle at what I wrote isn't trying to compensate. I get the feeling, though, that a Texan who just read this, or anyone who was offended, that they just might be compensating for a lack in many areas. If you're offended by this, and have a wife in or around the Austin area, please leave a comment so that I can be more considerate of (and take a personal hand in) you and your wife's predicament. As to the Capital Building, well, it's the biggest dick in the nation, but I'll be damned if that cock ain't pretty when seen at night.
[11th and Congress, or, 11th.s - 15th.n and Lavaca.w - San Jacinto.e]

Schlotzsky's: While the libraries, like most major cities, offer free Internet access on their computers, there happens to be another way to hop on a computer to use the Internet. The Schlotzsky's in Austin happen to come equipped with three Macs, each with Internet access. The signs say that there's a 15-minute limit, but I've yet to be told that my time was up. Showing up early, ordering a coffee, then hitting the Net means that fifteen-minutes can turn into an hour or more. The most I've pushed this was six-hours, and I actually fell asleep while typing and wasn't kicked out. I have to give their food props, as well, and would love to send any business there way that may pay them back for all the Net I've siphoned off of 'em.
[1915 Guadalupe St, Austin, TX, 512.457.1129]

UT Campus: Park somewhere, then walk onto Campus. If you can't find your way from the drag, ask someone. Once they tell you, hide your head in shame and wander onward. Here, a boy scout leader and noble member of the US Marine Corps decided to barricade himself in a tower and turn his award-winning life to one of villainy. And they say the days of the Wild West are gone. It was a reminder that this city was built on Texas soil, and that what society has merited most “right” can be (and often is) the most “wrong.” It is a beautiful campus to walk, and a rich history to re-imagine. There are museums, six-way cross-walks and eye-candy in the form of foliage, architecture art and flesh.
[24th and Guadalupe, just keep driving Wayne]

Kasbah: There comes a point in each person's life when the Moroccan glaring at them over the counter demands of them a choice. It's no ordinary choice, and, at this point, a life may fall spinning into that black abyss without hookahs, or one filled with smoky sweet-scented clouds formed by fragrant shisha tobacco. I... I've made that choice. Actually, my brother Tristan made that choice for me, and it was the right one: orange shisha over coffee-flavored, with ice. My brother Keaegan later perfected this mix by turning me on to the Panna Cotta tea offered by Kasbah. As smoke rolls out of me on the deck of Kasbah, I'm reminded that heaven is here on earth, and only ever as far as a hookah. Now that heaven's out of the way, I have to mention that the owners and maintainers are chauvinistic and rude. They set abstract rules that you'll want to read up on upon entering. Bring a group of three, and have your leader speak for you with confidence. It goes a long way here.
[2714 Guadalupe St, Austin, TX 78705, 512.542.9870]

Weird Willy's: As I heard it, the pirate name for this place got it's little start from peeps calling it “The Weird Will.” It's almost not fair to call Buffalo Exchange by the nick “Weird Willy's,” as only a few weirdlings will know what you're talking about. Also, I'm fairly sure only the ATX Buffalo has ever been called this. Nonetheless, I thought I'd add my own bit of influence to spread this meme. Austin can't claim to have taken a Good Will and weirded it, as Buffaloes exist elsewhere, also. With the weird scene so prevalent, however, this is the place to find those neon fishnet stockings that've been haunting your dreams, or those jeans with just the right amount of wear and tear. The fact that you can sell some of your own wardrobe back to them helps ignore a bit o' the markup you'll find here.
[2904 Guadalupe St, Austin, TX, 512.480.9922, 12p-7, www.buffaloexchange.com]

The Warehouse Half-Price: With book resellers, it is always an interesting mix you could be entering into. It is a type of meta-market, reflecting the intellect and passions of an area. With the warehouse-sized Half-Price Books, the area is a cross-section of the UT College Campus, the artists living in the surrounding co-ops, and the die hards who won't go to a Half-Price any smaller than this megalith. This is a great stop to trade in some books and pick up some new ones before heading over to Epochs. Remember, however, to bring only a set amount of cash, or the rare books section may leave you penniless and flying a sign on a street corner.
[www.halfpricebooks.com, 5555 N Lamar and Koenig, 78751-1073, 512.451.4463]

The Poch: There was once a little coffee shop named Mojo's. If you've been to Kasbah, then you've at least visited the gravesite. The spirit of Mojo's—the customers, employees, art and environment—has been reborn in what is now Epoch Coffee. Epoch started off good, at a location more remote than where Mojo's once stood. Then, it just kept getting better. It's one of the best spots for coffee, with plenty of seating and as much parking as they could scavenge without expanding into the graveyard. The free Internet is best in the dark hours of the night, but carries a weak signal by day. Some of Austin's more interesting darklings spend their waking hours here, and, as it's 24-hours without closing, it remains my favorite place to both work and play.
[www.epochcoffee.com, 221 W North Loop Blvd, 78751, 512.454.3762]

Portal: The hop from the North-most outskirt of the Main Drag to Academy of Oriental Medicine area is but a matter of a bus ride. The #239, from Guadalupe and Koenig, goes to North Cross Mall. There, you can exit and wander your way towards Anderson Lane. This small little stretch of Anderson Lane you'll be entering is one of the easiest jewels to pass by in Austin.

de l'Occident a l'Orient...

Trainhop-Point: I've never done this hop, but have had a train pass right by Grape Vine Market at some “why hurry” speeds on two visits now. I remember well the infrared scanners used by immigrations this far South, but that doesn't stop the little wanderlust daemon from waking within me. It goes so slow, that anyone should be able to make the jump. So, so very tempting. Anyone coming South from Dallas should jump off at the huge neon Grapes, and head right into the Grape Vine Market for some spirits. If anyone finds that this is as good a hop to Dallas as my wanderlust tells me it is, then you tell my ass. When carebear wants hugs... carebear gets hugs!

Grape Vine Market: Driving either way on Mo-Pac, it's hard to miss the huge cluster of neon grapes floating to the East of the highway right near the Anderson Lane exit. That, my lovelies, is Grape Vine Market. Grape Vine quite literally has a database on hand of wines throughout the world, and has divided up the large space inside the building between different regions of said world. “Any excuse to go to Grape Vine is a good one,” my brother Tristan has said. There be truth in such madness. Wine browsing (sometimes taste-testing) is at its Austin best here. For the non-wino, who was likely dragged here by their sake-toxicated amigos, there is an entire portion of the store dedicated to imported beers, and then another section to foods and snacks. I'm sure somewhere in the Market they've hidden something that I could lodge a complaint about, but I've either not looked hard enough, or was to merry-buzzed on crimson ambrosia for that particular game.
[www.grapevinemarket.com, 512.323.5900, 7938 Great Northern Boulevard, Austin, TX 78757]

The Village Graveyard: The intersection of Burnet and Anderson Ln forms a cross over many a dead legend's headstone. I'd heard from my brother Tristan of a coffee shop dubbed “Tex” where some familiar faces gathered. Out and about after a drug test one afternoon, I found myself resting in the shade against a pharmacy looking across the parking-lot at a sign reading “Texpresso.” The Denny's just a block up from Tex was another gathering point. The smoking ban that was barely passed killed both locations. Then, the Starbucks just down the street from them went 24-hours. Many of the same familiar faces showed up again, gathering to what Gaea dubbed "The 24." Just as Summer approached in '07, The 24 was no longer open 24-hours. No more hanging outside smoking over coffee until sunrise. The node remains, however, as does much potential to any strong establishment that would open itself to this node. Hopefully, what rises at these crossroads will not fall in the same manner.

The Academy of Oriental Medicine: If you can find the Village Plaza, then look for the Mexican restaurant and the Alamo Drafthouse Theater. Once you've found the Alamo, walk towards it, but stop when you see a break between the shops on your right. You see how it looks like there's more behind the storefront? Well, there is. I'm going to save a lot for surprise, actually, as this is a primary seduction point to help ease a targeted import into their future role as an Austinite. If you're hungry, sushi at the Korea House [512.458.2477] is excellent (and not cheap). White Crane Herbal Pharmacy [512.323.6720] carries books and meditation tools, not just herbs. Herbs they have as well, and we thank them for it. With all else that has passed away in this area, AOMA is a stable beacon of light I seek out everytime I've returned to this port.
[http://www.aoma.edu/, 2700 W Anderson Ln]

Alamo Village: The Village Alamo is my favorite. It seems to have the same taste in movies I have, and has its own selection of zany-alternatives playing here and there as does every Alamo I've been into. This Alamo actually kicked me out. To my credit, I had tried to buy a ticket to “Red vs Blue”—a riotous military sitcom using the game Halo to animate the star characters voiced by Rooster Teeth. They were sold out, so I'd gotten in line to save a place for the three friends who did have tickets. Well, an Alamo employee came up and down the waiting line outside the building, asking who wanted to play “Halo” before the movie. The question wasn't “who wants to play 'Halo' before the movie and has paid to stay for the movie.” Therefore, I gladly opted myself to play “Halo” and had to later excuse myself out the door when they asked for my movie ticket.
[www.drafthouse.com, 2700 W Anderson Lane]

Portal: North Cross Mall has been slowly dying for years. What remains active is the nodal part it plays in the Capital Metro bus system. Here's where you'll exit the #239 you can take from near Epoch, and where you can hop the #3 to get to the Arboretum. The bus stops are easily seen from Burnet, although somewhat obscured alongside the road that runs around the back of the mall.

The Yuppy Experience...

REI: I remember the first time I actually took in the price on some of the clothes, gear and other supplies that outdoors stores offer. My first thought was “and people buy these?” Thankfully, I said it out loud, as I tend to talk openly to myself at times. The kid buying climbing gear nearby, with a friendly—almost helpful—smile, walked over and flipped open the booklet for the backpack that the price tag was stamped on. “It has a lifetime warranty,” he said. “It's in their best interest to make this last a long, long time for you. Here, you get what you pay for 'n then some. Lotsa this gear'll have that same price, that same warranty and'll last longer than you'd guess.” It was one of my favorite sessions of being schooled-on I've had the pleasure of oopsing myself into, and he didn't even work there. I wasn't able to get that backpack, but a whole new paradigm had infected me. The REI on the East side of Hwy 183, along Loop 360, is where best to gear up when prepping to get up outta Austin.
[www.rei.com, Suite 200, 9901 Capital of Texas Hwy, 78759, 512.343.5550]

The Arboretum and Duck Pond: You really can't miss the Arboretum if you take Great Hills Trail, from Hwy 183, just West not even a block. It's that forested hive of stores and eateries just to the South. If spending the level of money you can tell this place demands is your thing, then go ga-ga it up for a while and lighten the load on your bank account. There is a book store, however, and a fine selection of moleskin journals be within reach should the need arise. More important is simply the environment. The Arboretum is beautiful, shaded and strangely welcoming. Simply walking the grounds has been a favorite zero-dinero expenditure of my friends and I. Look for the stone steps up against the heavy foliage near the lookout, and you'll find yourself on your way to the duck pond nestled below.
[9607 Research Blvd, Austin, 78759]

360 Point Bridge: If you've already got cardboard, simply walk up the hill from the Duck Pond, scribble down “360 Point” on your board and hold it up along the side of the road. The one time it occurred to me to try, I was picked up in only minutes. You'll know you're there when you reach the not-small-at-all iron bridge. Your destination, should you choose to accept it, is that clearing in the brush atop the granite cliff above you. There's a few paths, all of which ascend to 360 Point Lookout. I highly suggest meditation, breathing exercises or good conversations once you've reached the top.

Fo Guang Shan Hsiang Yun Temple: From 360 Point, walk away from the bridge. If you're driving, you'll need to pull a U-turn. You're going to be looking for a golden Buddha statue on the left (North). If it's before 5p, and on a day they're open, then walk right up the drive, up the stairs and into the temple. If the gates are open, then this means the public's welcome. Mio San, the monk I'm most familiar with here, may come to greet you if you're simply wandering the grounds. None, however, dare disturb the temple with any sound or other sensory abruptness. If any part of you is naturally in tune, you'll feel the sensation of peace that you enter into within those temple walls.
[6720 N Capital of Texas Hwy Loop 360, Austin, TX 78731-1715, 512.346.6789]

Spicewood: From the Buddhist temple, continue your walk back towards 183. You're looking for where Spicewood Springs Rd breaks violently upward and northward on your left (North). Once you get there, jot down “Old Lampasas” on the other side of your board and hold down a spot where drivers could pick you up. Other than by thumb, I've always wanted to see Spicewood by motorcycle. The mountains and valleys you'll be driving through, and the creeks you'll be crossing, make for one of the most stunning journeys within the ATX. When you finally come out on Old Lampasas, head East towards Spicewood Springs Rd, then Spicewood Springs Rd to 183.

Last Call for Weird...

Chuy Chica Boom Boom: Chuy Chica Boom Boom! Chica, chica, chica, chica boom boom! I... I can't stop. This particular stain of Tex Mex upon the city is easily my favorite restaurant. Many of the employees I've seen there off and on for years, and it's rare to find such honest happiness in any waitstaff after such a tenure. On the customer's side of the table, Chuy's has the bad habit of making legends. You'll not be offered, but your damn well gonna ask for it—creamy jalapeno. Don't question this, simply order it when you order your drink. Speaking of which, ordering a Mexican Martini to drink would edge you further into the illusion that your a Chuy's regular. Finally, be sure to get the Chica Chica Boom Boom... or something else with the Boom Boom sauce. Now, I order you to disobey all I just wrote. If you start with this order, you may never branch off and try anything else they offer. With such a flavorful menu of treats, that'd be nondandy of you.
[11680 N Research Blvd at Duval, 78759, 512.342.0011, 11a-10:30p, 4p-7 Happy Hour, www.chuys.com]

The Kerb: My brother Keaeg once sent me a text message saying only: “Blackberries. Kerby.” Guess where I ate that night? They call it Kerbey Lane. I've no idea who Kerbey is, and would toss in the guess that it's simply the street name for the first of these restaurants. That still doesn't tell me who the hell Kerbey is. The Kerbey Lane in North ATX is so much more laid back than its family to the South. Kerbeys are what happen when an Austinite takes to the thought that a 24-hour pancake shop is a “good idea.” The Kerb has crappy coffee, is 24-hours and serves pancakes. Here the similarities dither away, and weirdness works its weasley way in the front door. This particular Kerbey is where I first take anyone I am trying to have the city seduce. Order the Kerbey Queso, then exert your right to free-will based on the new-found curiosity of your tongue.
[12602 Research Blvd, 78759, 512.258.7757, 24/7, www.kerbeylanecafe.com]

The Bucks: There's only a few good places to really take aim and fire off some choice insults aimed at Williamson County from within Travis County territory. The Starbucks just south of Anderson Mill, on the West side of Hwy 183, happens to be my favorite. I know, I know: “It's a Starbucks!” I've been trying to figure out how a Starbucks got so cool for some time now. My findings are too long to share in this brief summary. Let it be said, instead, that the majority of workers and customers who frequent and tend these walls aren't the assworthy peeps I've found in one Starbucks after another. Hence, we call it “The Bucks.” I'm not the only hitchhiker who has set up camp here, and have ran into many retired hikers or lifers at one or another of the many outdoor tables. If there's one thing this Bucks shares in common with its burnt coffee ancestry, it's the fact that there's no outlets outside. I'm beginning to suspect this is national Starbucks policy, and not happenstance.
[13400 N Hwy 183, Austin, TX 78750, 512.401.6253]

The Tea House: I got to see this little restaurant grow up, and remember when it was only a tea leaf planted in brick. Actually, the building was already there, but I was the one watching as it was completely transformed into The Tea House. In order of least tasty (or nutritious), the four types of Chinese food are: buffet, noodle-shop, restaurant, in-house. The latter you basically have to know someone who was trained in the art of the chopstick if you're going to get any. “Restaurant” Chinese food, however, can be hard to locate depending on the area. There's plenty of should-be Noodle-Shop Chinese food stops that try to pass themselves off as Restaurant Chinese in areas where the local tastebuds haven't been warned not to take noodles from strangers. The Tea House is part Vietnamese, part Chinese cuisine, and is worth the restaurant prices they charge (if before dinner). I know the owner, and know the care taken with this kitchen and staff, and that only adds to my enjoyment of this place.
[13376 Research Blvd, Austin, TX 78750-3237, 512.335.0935]

Alamo Lake Creek: The most northern ATX Alamo fortification was built just within Wilco territory. While much that surrounds this area is carbon-copy franchiseville, the Alamo remains a safe haven for beer, pizza and movie's uninterrupted by screaming children and obnoxious adults. For having eight screens, the movie selection's not as varied a mix of “pop” and “art” as other Alamo's, but the shadow politics behind reel distribution is at cause here... not the theater.
[www.drafthouse.com, 13729 Research Blvd]

BB's: B B Rover's is one of my favorite little thieves' dens. It not only has the shadowy corners, but beers from around the world, a patio the nicotine-oriented and a location just within reach, but just far enough to be out of the casual “let's hit a bar” mindset's reach. I've been to many a gathering and celebration held at BB's. While I can't suggest any of the food, the environment and choice of drinks so outshine this shortcoming that any time I have to turn down a trip means an involuntary twinge of uncertainty over the decision.
[www.bbrovers.com, 11a-Midnight, 12101 Jollyville Rd, Austin, TX, 512.335.9504]

Jardin Corona: Beware the mixed drinks! Many an unwary wallet's been loosened as intoxication draws out terribly unbalanced tips, the likes of which are found only in the darkest of Vegas casinos. Not to say you shouldn't drink. But you've been warned. Just be sure not to order any food. The Mexican entrees are simply too tasty to be anything but the work of El Diablo. One bite, and you'll be waking up (weeks later) with a craving only food cooked in the Garden at Starglow's Edge can sate. Don't make the same mistakes that I and so many others have made. It is far too perilous.
[13233 Pond Springs Rd Ste 301, Austin, TX 78729-7136, 512.250.1061]

Squats: I've spent most my time homeless in the Northern ATX along the Travis-Wilco border. As such, I've collected quite a few squats. There are two 24-Hour Laundromats within only a few miles of the other—one on Duval, the other on Pond Springs. I don't think they've ever been officially 24/7, but I've never been escorted out of either by an armed officer or angered owner. There are many office suites and complexes that don't open until mid-morning, and have many a nice shady corner to hide your body in while you're away sleeping. I've slept on a bench through the night, quite in the open, and been harassed by neither cop nor criminal. What I haven't done is pitch a tent, and I'd not suggest it.

Oak Knoll Shell: Fresh kreteks, a good wine selection, many great imported beers—along with the standard headshop fares of rolling papers, cigars and munchies. The Oak Knoll Shell has just about everything other than cheap gas. In fact, they have some hefty prices on that petro they peddle. Don't buy gas, but check out this one-stop supply shop party hop should you be nearby and in need of a drink.
[West Side of Hwy 183, on Oak Knoll]

The North Gate...

Katherine Fleischer Park: Picnics, cookouts and long walks in the rain. The Northern Greenbelt is just large enough to wear off most of your physical energy, should you walk from from one end to the other and back again. If you bring chess pieces, you'll find some eight-by-eights etched into tabletops... some were even designed that way. It makes for a great downshift from the fizz pop crackle stop of the city. Park at the Shopping Center around Thermal Dr and Wells Branch Pkwy, then walk West until you see the greenage going under the road. Walk Northly along the greenbelt.
[GPS: +30 26' 34.76", -97 40' 45.88"]

Freebird's: Despite complaints from the health department about aluminum foil infestations, Austinites just can't say “no” to eating burritos that threaten each eater to “finish each bite, or risk retaliation from the survivors!” If it's your first time, start with a small- or regular-sized burrito. If you think you can actually handle more, then you'll just have to come back. This particular location, snuggled threateningly with a knife right behind Chili's, is well suited for arming up a cooler on your way out for a road trip, or for your way in to picnic it up in a park.
[www.freebirds.com, 1100 Center Ridge Dr, Austin, TX 78753, 512.251.9701]

Saradora's: There was once such an overflow of ATX Weird that the cities of Round Rock (to the North) and San Marcos (to the South) received such a cloud of second-hand weird that it seemed the smell would never come out. Saradora's, for the corrupt little barista bastarda it was, became the forward battleship in the northern campaign into Round Rock. Over the years, many ships were lost from this fleet. The loss of the USS Saradora was the final assurance of this campaign's failure. As with any heroic loss in a worthy fight, it's best to pay a visit to the fallen's headstone. In this case, it is easy, as it's the shape of a circle. You may also want to visit 101 E Main, where Saradora's made its stand.

Out of the Way? Worth it! More Weirdlings...

Mount Bonnell: Don't let the name fool ya. Austin would fall over backwards should a real mountain show itself. This little hill, however, does make a fine lookout point from which to take in the city. If someone offers the ride, take it. Exit MoPac, Loop 1 on 35th St, going West. Stay on 35th when it tries turning into Balcones Drive. Take a right(NW) on Mount Bonnell Rd, and look for the steps on the left after a bit of an upward drive or hike.

RAD: I can safely say that I remember the night Kelly Newhouse came to the ATX. It was a good night. An even better night was when she kicked off what would become the renegade art scene of Austin. As fire-dancers increase their rhythm to the music, they light the paintings of other artists in a glow found only by fire and night. Tattooed, pierced, multi-colored weirdlings laugh, shout and call down the stars. This is “Raw and Desperate,” a dream made reality that has cut a scarred niche into the ATX.
[www.rawanddesperate.com]

Jesus Weirdos: My training under four of the Greater Forces left me in an interesting position of being naturally heretical to a huge percentile of the human world's institutions. The shock, therefore, when this little heretic announced he was off to... er... church... was as fun as being personally shocked by finding a Christian Church where the Spirit it was meant to be the wellspring of—and not the container of—has not been dammed, nor closed to any who thirst... nor could I find any trace poisons in this cup from which I drank. In fact, each visit left me both peaceful and energized. The Sunday breakfast starts at 9 in the morning, and the sermon I'll really let speak for itself. Sermon starts at 10.
[www.consciousharmony.com, 7406 Newhall Lane, 78746, 512.347.9673, Sundays, 9a-Noon]

Chez Zee: Yeah, yeah... the French know their pastries. In this case, there do be but one target—the Creme Brulee French Toast Platter! This place ain't hiker-friendly, and this plate, at a heft twelve dollars, is a risky venture out of the way for any wayfarer. It's worth it. I've had my tastebuds tear up at just the thought of this succulent sweetmeat. You have a limited window in which to plan your attack, should these words tempt you to, as brunch is a Saturday/Sunday-only event, and only between 9a and 3p. Ignore the rest of the menu, and forgive them their Frenchness. Afterall, they're weird Frenchies.
[www.chez-zee.com, 5406 Balcones Dr, 78731, 512.454.2666]

Kim's: Mi hermano, Tyson, turned me on to this addiction. Bob, he who be “the Shit,” would later remind my flighty ass that, when it comes to Pho, the ATX do have but one choice—Kim Phung's. This isn't a debatable matter of opinion, we're talking about. Kim's collects rewards throughout the city like a hunter collects the heads of prey. Get the regular sized bowl. I've seen only one person finish the large. It is right along the #1 Bus and just south of where the #383 terminates at the North Lamar Transfer Center. In short, your petty defenses against my memetic proselytization be weak, young padawan. Try saying “proselytization” out loud. If you fail, you're indebted to me, and will be until you try some of Kim's pho. If you got it right on the first try, find some way to get ahold of me. No promises, but I might just buy you your first bowl.
[7601 N Lamar Blvd # I, 78752, 512.451.2464]

Amy's: It's Ice Cream. Austinites rage 'bout this place. Even your's truly, who never had his sweet-tooth grow in properly, gives props to Amy's Ice Cream. You've got a menu of “holy creikies, this is gonna hurt me” to choose from. Once you can formulate words loud enough to reach the other side of the counter, they collect your choices in to one pile and you get to watch as they torture and prepare your ice cream while it's still alive. It doesn't get much fresher than fresh-killed ice cream, still bleeding milk down the sides as you eat it. Very hiker friendly, and you have to ask for an application!
[www.amysicecream.com]

ThunderCloud: The name “Jared” is famous in the food industry, as well as in the minds of the many yo-yo dieters of America. Had the boy been to a ThunderCloud, he may have turned out sexy as well as thin. Actually, I take that back, but I'm not deleting it. Homeboy lost nearly three-hundred pounds. While I doubt the publicized method be anything more than a partial truth, that is still one hell of a jog to the finish line. There is a certain smell, however, in most subshops that I always associated with over-processing. In the case of ThunderCloud, you walk in and the thought your nose sends to your mind is “Food!” It'll turn you off to all other subshops. For some real fun, order: “Large Nada Chicken, on Wheat (or White), with Provolone and Marinara.” Each ThunderCloud has its own name for this, but they'll know what the words mean that are coming outta your mouth.
[www.thundercloud.com]

Mangia: I'm not sure if Chicago approves of what Austin's done with stuffed pizza, but Austinites junk up on this scarily affordable (and filling) slice of Italy-gone-weird as if on rampage. The price is just high enough to make a hiker question how heavy their pocket change feels, but low enough to make any day under the umbrella of a paycheck well worth the stop. Mangia cooks for herbivores and carnivores alike, and specializes in catering to both camps. The one complaint I could etch in stone against this place would be that they've opted not to back the “legalize cannibalism now” campaign. As such, they must be considered traitors to the cause!
[mangiapizza.com]

Zen: I love sushi! I love sushi in that special way fish were meant to be loved. I hate seafood. I hate any fish that's been dead long enough for me to taste it. This is a good time to state that I was raised vegetarian, and usually never order anything with meat... unless it's sushi. I'm a sushi addict. Compared to the “cost a lotta nada” price tag Zen stamps on their sushi, this place has become a constant stop-off to pick up raw fish and the beautiful green horseradish-paste that is wasabi. Sadly, many Zens have begun covering up their outlets so that the Austin-standard of free WiFi has become “free as long as your battery lasts.” The price you use to pay for non-Sushi dishes was once worth it, but this growing trend has lead to picking up only some quick sushi, netting it up inside for a while, then jetting for a place with more power.
[www.eatzen.com]

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[with thanks to my sister Maya for importing me into Austin]

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