Capitalist Pigs and Commie Bastards
by Lamat Kan
Capitalist Pigs and Commie Bastards. The insults carry with them negative connotations from their respective corners of the ring. The greed found in most Capitalists marks them as pigs, growing only more and more fat as they eat well beyond their needs. Commies like to cut as much of the fat off the pigs as possible, and turn around and give it to the poor. It would sound all fine and dandy, were not a great portion of it going to the black market, a section of society that doesn't report its earnings, and grows wealthy from such systems.
Capitalists are murderers. Communists are thieves. Capitalists take peoples' lives. Communists take peoples' property. In America, Capitalism's current flagship, the murder rate is rampant. In China, Communism's timeworn fortress, you don't take anything there with you that you wanna bring back.
Capitalism starts wars, taking their property... by right of conquest, of course. Kill, then steal. There's a little bit o' the Commie in every Capitalist. The Communists take property, then kill any dissenters. Steal, then kill. Ah, the better to fatten our Commie with. Smells like bacon.
Capitalist Pigs love us-versus-them-ism. "We're right and they're wrong. Let's kill 'em 'n take their land." However, when a bigger pig comes along, you'll find these piggies begging for their lives, or find them trying to prove their righteousness so that the bigger pig doesn't eat them for their wrongness. They end by posing the question: "If wrong, how can we ever know better if never given the chance?" To which the answer: "Are they who show no mercy worthy of it?"
Communism loves equality. It loves it so much, that the mountains must all be chiseled down so as not to rise above the treeline of the forest. "None should have more than any other. The thought of possession itself must be exercised from society as the demon it is." Bastards shout and applaud when the government steps in to tell businesses how they must be run, yet they are the first to protest when the government steps in to tell the Bastards what they can and cannot do in their own households... in their own lives.
A Capitalist Pig is as much a hypocrite as the Commie Bastards. However, these are the most corrupt forms of systems that both have positive functions for society.
Capitalism excels at rapid innovation, but fails when faced with long-term staying power. This is most apparent in American architecture, which is more quickly torn down than it is erected. Capitalism plays into the greed of the pig, promoting companies who patent batteries that could last decades so that no one else can sell this very battery. After all, they couldn't sell very many of these once everyone had a set. And what happens if a marketed innovation is released in haste, and is later to be found out to be more detrimental than beneficial? Leaded gasoline, asbestos, fast food... happens all the time.
Communism is a master of retention, yet plodding and awkward when trying to change course. "If something works, then keep using it. In fact, put systems in place to ensure its usage becomes far-spread and long-lasting." And when a better system comes along? With so much invested in the previous system, the inertia already set in place causes the system to reject the improvement. "If it works right now, it'll work in ten-years. Nevermind that the leg has healed, I'm sticking to the crutch."
Capitalism has the speed to outrace Communism, but it hasn't the endurance. Communism has a ship the waves can't sink, and a constant wind at its back, but it hasn't any sails or rudder. Both have strengths and failings, and both are a part of our nature. To deny the importance of either is to betray a sense of ignorance, if not a psychological disorder within the mind that holds to this opinion.
The end result of Capitalism is Anarchy. The end result of Communism is Der Stat--Statism. The only true Justice between these (as within the Universe) is that of a well-oiled scale, and with neither side weighted. Any law that allows a person to infringe on the life or property of another is already weighted towards Anarchy. Any law that takes away any freedoms for an individual to govern themselves or their property is already towards Statism. Any law that follows either path no longer serves Justice, but works against it.
If you're not sure what side of the scales you spend most of your time sitting on, then you can take a measure of just which half of these writings offended you most, or which side you found yourself defending, or which arguments you considered subpar. These are all triggered by resistance. If you think I've burnt the bacon, or put the bastard out to die, then you're either more of a pig or more of a bastard. It's okay to be offended. It tells you where you're in denial.
